Chedventures

So in the nature of Chedventures, I’m going to talk about my recent solo holiday! This may not sound like a big deal to some people, but to me, booking a spontaneous trip three days in advance on my own was quite the nerve-wracking but exciting experience. Although many people solo travel, and much further afield for longer, I still feel proud of myself for going it alone. I’d been feeling so low about my life, due to a combination of reasons: navigating life and happiness in your mid-twenties can be challenging, depressing and bleak. For this reason, I decided I needed a new challenge, a new way to shake me up while allowing me to leave my problems behind for a weekend in the hopes I’d return feeling refreshed and rejuvenated. In fairness, I did come back with this feeling; if anything, it left me wanting to travel by myself more often, in different ways.

I did learn a few things along my way; although my trip was brief, not only did I learn about myself but also the way to solo travel. I decided to journal what I did when I was there, which really helped. I’ve put together a few thoughts, recommendations and pieces of advice that I learnt from my time away that I think will be helpful for any considerations of future solo travels.

Where to go?

Before getting into it, the destination and decisions surrounding this is obviously crucial. For me, I wanted somewhere quick and easy to get to as I didn’t have much time (or effort) to travel too far afield. I knew Easyjet flew from Bristol to Amsterdam which informed the basis of my solo travel destination decision. Not only will this trip be easy and quick, but cheap. This sounds obvious, but always a good place to start! I didn’t have it in me to travel from Bristol to London to catch a flight; not this time, anyway.

Additionally, without sounding like a lazy British tourist, I knew the Netherlands has a high English-speaking rate. I’m always a big fan of trying to speak the local language and always putting in the effort to learn the basics (and I’ve been learning Spanish on Duolingo for the last few months for that very reason), but knowing that I’d be mainly on my own, I went for ease. It goes without saying that not everyone or everywhere has this option. It does seem lazy, but for a last-minute chilled trip, knowing that the vast majority of people would speak English did make me feel reassured and at ease about being somewhere completely foreign by myself.

It also helped that I’d been to Amsterdam previously, albeit many years ago. I’d been before with my mum so had done the main typical tourist things, such as the Anne Frank house, a boat tour etc., but I couldn’t remember much else about the place and hadn’t got to properly experience it as an adult. I remember really liking it and finding it very beautiful, as well as it being quite small and walking-friendly. Additionally, the public transportation system is super affordable and easy to use. These were things I needed to take into consideration when going alone; the thought of navigating confusing and complicated transport in an unfamiliar place didn’t seem like the relaxing break away from my problems that I was hoping for.

One downside to Amsterdam was of course the price. The cost of accommodation was not cheap, and neither was the cost of things when there. I did know this before, however, and thought that it’s all about the balance. While Amsterdam was a very expensive place to visit, and part of my anxieties leading me to booking a trip away stemmed from financial burden and stress, it also had a lot going for it in ease of accessibility, laid-back lifestyle and size and beauty of the city. While it’s important to consider everything, a compromise must be made; it’s always possible to be a little tight and careful with money when on holiday while still having fun and letting your hair down. All things taken into consideration, Amsterdam seemed like the perfect location for a stress-free, chilled out holiday away from home where I could really reset, be somewhere different and have new experiences.

So, landed on a destination for solo travel. Let the rest of the fun continue!

What to do before going?

As well as taking into consideration the basic features of a destination and whether it’s a good place to go solo, it’s important to work out what to do when there. This sounds obvious, but it wasn’t to me! I’d decided I was going to Amsterdam and it was set in my mind. I’d decided to go for four nights, so I had plenty of time to do things as well as chill. When I’d been before, I only went for two nights which didn’t seem long enough. I really wanted to experience Amsterdam properly and see it all, and any longer seemed too long (it is a small place). So, a long weekend it is.

While on other trips with friends and family, I tend to be a follower of plans and usually let others decide what activities to do and where to go. I usually don’t mind and am happy to do whatever everyone else wants to do, but clearly this isn’t exactly possible when travelling alone. I needed to figure out what to do, where things are, what I wanted to do (and not do), and how I can go about doing this.

I did the basic googling ‘what to do in Amsterdam’ and started making a list of things to do and where looked cool to me. I also watched a lot of Amsterdam travel TikToks and wrote some things down that looked interesting. I’d come up with quite a good list of things to crack on with, while also having enough time to chill and rest. I don’t really like working too hard when I’m away really, and appreciate moments of calm in between activities. What a positive about solo trips – I can do exactly what I want, when I want! So after I’d made a list of activities, food places, and bars, I familiarised myself with the geography of Amsterdam. This was when I realised how good it was that Amsterdam is relatively small. A lot of things were in similar areas within 5-10 minutes walking of each other in each general area. I’m not someone who’s good with navigation or geography, so I did spend a little time familiarising myself with where things area. I also found where would be really touristy, so I could bypass these when travelling between places; I often find crowds too stressful and would rather take the long way round to get to places.

After this, I decided to be super organised and sort out each day. Knowing I’d be there for four days, I split each day up into a rough area of Amsterdam; things in the south, north, west, and east. This sounds too organised and too anal, but I found it a good way to make my notes organised and a plan seem a little more tangible. I used the app Wanderlog, where it shows you walking distance between each activity. While I knew I probably (definitely) would not stick to this exact plan, it gave me a good idea of how to break down each day while being relatively time and energy efficient.

Where to stay?

So I’d had my flights booked and a vague plan of action to keep me busy during my time away. The next thing to figure out was where I wanted to stay, and what kind of accommodation. There seemed to be two obvious options to me: hostel or AirBnb.

Hostels

I personally am very used to and comfortable with hostels. I spent six weeks backpacking central America and stayed almost exclusively in hostels; I’ve also stayed in hostels in Europe before many times too. Obviously it depends on the hostel you’re staying in, but ones with high ratings on Hostelworld are almost always really nice, clean, easy to find, with all the amenities anyone would need.

However, I’d only stayed in hostels with a group of friends. I had usually stayed in hostels in a small group of friends within a larger ten or twelve bed mixed dorm, which I always really enjoyed and never minded at all. Staying in a big mixed dorm alone was something I’d never done and wasn’t sure if it would have the same fun, exciting feel. I thought perhaps it might feel a little lonely or sad, and seeing people being social in the room and the bar would make me feel lonely and isolated. While many hostels are very social and are geared for people wanting to make friends, I still was unsure about this experience alone. While I knew I could talk to people and make friends if I wanted, it still seemed a little daunting.

Airbnb

While an Airbnb would be more expensive and would mean zero chance to make new friends, it would bring a definite sense of peace and solitude. It really depends on what the goal is of the trip. While I was interested in making friends and having fun, the idea of some alone time did seem very appealing. However, I did think that it would be too much time alone; I’d be eating alone, doing activities alone, going home alone and waking up alone. While this might have been nice, and an attractive option for many, I realised I might experience too much alone time and feel lonely.

I did end up staying in a hostel (it was the cheapest option, and even still was not cheap). With everything in consideration, there are definite pros and cons…

Hostel

• Tend to be cheaper
• Often excellent location
• Likeminded young social people (if that’s what you’re after)
• Often have a bar to meet people or relax
• Hostel workers can advise on activities in the area
• Has more of a fun, social feel
• However, cheapest rooms tend to be ten or twelve mixed dorms meaning little privacy
• Shared bathrooms, toilets can be an issue for those who prefer their own space
• Cleanliness can be an issue
• Despite being more social, can feel more lonely being solo among groups
• Less privacy, freedom and space

Airbnb

• Plenty of privacy and freedom to do what you want
• Get the full solo experience
• Can be much more relaxing
• However, usually much more expensive (albeit location dependent)
• Less opportunity to meet new people and do new things
• More budget Airbnbs would be further away from the centre or main attraction area, meaning more travel to and from

So I hope that summarises the ups and downs of hostel vs Airbnb living. Obviously, there are a multitude of other places to stay including hotel, homestay, villa, caravan, motel, tent among many others. My personal experience of travelling and holidaying has been mostly in hostels and Airbnbs so that’s all I have to compare! But hopefully there’ll be other accommodation types in the future that I’ll be able to review and write about.

What to do before heading off

I had sorted everything including my travel, accommodation and plans. My number one biggest tip when preparing for a solo trip (or any trip really, but paramount for when going solo) is to figure out in advance how to go from the airport to accommodation. It sounds obvious, but really put in a little bit of research to ensure the journey is smooth and easy. For me, I hate feeling like a lost, clueless tourist, so I always act like I know the public transport as if I’m a local. Often, faking it till you make it really works!

Before my Amsterdam trip I did a brief search into my best journey, which was of course the tram – the tram system in Amsterdam is quite incredible and puts the UK’s public transport to shame. I figured out how to get a ticket, how to pay, what direction I was going in, and how long it would take. I wrote this journey down in my notes and also screenshot from Google Maps, which I’d highly recommend doing. This journey ended up being very smooth and easy thanks to my forward planning.

Obviously, not everyone can prepare this much in advance, and sometimes even despite doing so things will go wrong. For example, on my most recent trip to Madrid there was a tube strike upon our arrival; something out of our control that we couldn’t have accounted for. In cases like this, just being calm and relaxed and thinking on your feet will usually work. Also, just asking someone for help: it seems obvious and also scary, but often is very simple and helpful. So long as you feel comfortable and confident on the way to your accommodation, the rest of the trip should follow suit.

How to do it solo

So, I’d figured everything out, arrived, and settled into my hostel. What do I do now, and how do I not feel like the biggest, loneliest loser immediately?

I didn’t know the answer, but I knew I had to pretend I did. I decided to set myself a few missions to achieve across the trip, such as find cigarettes, a nearby shop, and scope around the area for any good food places before I decided what to do with myself. This was a great idea as my ten minute walk to the shop let me immediately familiarise myself with my surroundings (I was right by Vondelpark!) and I spotted a good café for breakfast tomorrow, some nice restaurants and the shops. Now, I did cheat slightly here with the whole solo travel – I had a couple of friends around Amsterdam at the time, so a couple of nights I had plans. But I also had a great deal of alone evening time which scared me the most. On the first night of experiencing this, I decided to go to a sit-down restaurant by myself and do some journalling and life admin. I was scared of looking like a loser, but then I just realised I probably looked cool. If I could see myself, I’d think I was cool, so why would anyone think otherwise? Just pretend you’re not nervous and soon, you wont be. I had a glass of wine with my meal which made me feel super fancy. I just pretended I had loads of friends who I’d turned down tonight on purpose. And to be honest, it really worked – I felt like the biggest main character!

I then went back to my hostel and sat in the hostel bar with a large glass of wine, journalling still. I thought I’d expect to want people to come over and speak to me, but I realised when people-watching that I didn’t think I wanted any of the people to come over. I felt pretty content by myself. I then decided to go to park (it was dark by this point) for a happy cigarette I’d obtained earlier. I was listening to my music, feeling buzzed, exploring Amsterdam at night with all the lights and just feeling amazing. I felt great being alone.

It sounds cliché, but the trick is really fake it til you make it. You’ve chosen to come away alone, so commit to it – no-one else cares or will notice if you’re on your own. I sometimes found myself thinking that everyone was looking at me, wondering why I was on my own, why I didn’t have any friends. This obviously is never the case, as no-one would look twice at me, or even spend more than a second noticing me. The truth is that no-one cares! Everyone’s too wrapped up in their own worlds to notice anyone else, or care enough to form any opinion, let alone a bad one. I realised that I must have come across other people on their own while wandering around, but that I didn’t notice because I was too wrapped up in my own insecurities. This sounds obvious, but it’s often hard to remember.

How to prepare for feeling lonely

Prior to going, I had always been quite good at doing things by myself. I’m typing this up currently sat on my own in a café, having just had a chai latte and lemon drizzle cake by myself.

This sounds like a normal thing to do, as many people do this all the time. However, I have often struggled with doing things by myself for fear of looking lonely. By challenging myself in an area I know well to go to town by myself, go for food by myself, go to cafes, parks etc. by myself, it helped normalise doing activities alone. I started to realise that this isn’t actually that difficult, and no-one cares if you’re minding your business. So, I’d highly recommend doing this before heading off to see how ready you are to go it solo (spoiler: you’ll be totally fine and will have a great time regardless!).

General advice and tips

So, everything is sorted, and you’re ready for your solo adventure. It’s important to be fully safe and prepared when travelling solo (especially as a young woman), so it’s important to consider some other general safety and wellness bites.

In terms of your personal safety, always tell a decent number of people where you’re going and when, and the area you’re staying in. Despite Amsterdam being very safe, I still told my parents and good handful of friends my travel plans. I’m 25 and have travelled independently many times and it’s been no issue; I have my head screwed on, but even still I informed people back at home of my plans just for peace of mind. In addition to this, I would contact my mum everyday just so she knew vaguely what I’d been up to, but mostly so she knew I was having fun. Obviously it was reassuring to know that I was safe and well, but mainly that this had been a good decision and that I was enjoying myself!

Leading on from this, always bring a portable phone charger. As discussed earlier, when you have vague flexible plans, anything could happen last minute that you go with the flow for. It’s important to have phone battery in order to figure out how to get home, or contact people you’ve met, or take photos – all that good stuff. Even if your phone is full battery and you’re certain of your plans and route etc., it can’t hurt to take it out just in case. Imagine you’re doing solo plans and you meet the love of your life, or some new friends, or a local who gives you advice on what to do? It would be super handy having an operating phone just in case you need it. I found having this on me to be invaluable.

Another thing I found extremely useful was journalling everyday. Not anything crazy, just writing down what I got up to, how I felt, what I enjoyed or didn’t enjoy. It’s nice to concretise and make tangible the activities you did and feelings experienced; then, looking back, it will be a nostalgic and reminiscent experience. Doing this is actually what inspired me to write this blog post, so who knows where this could take you.

A couple of obvious ones are pack as light as possible – I don’t need to explain why this is super helpful. I packed only hand luggage and even still brought a little too much stuff. At the end of the day, you’re the one carrying it! Another obvious one is try to familiarise yourself with the language before going. While I went to Amsterdam and the vast majority of people speak English to a basic or fluent level, not everywhere is the same. While English is the biggest lingua franca globally, it’s still polite and decent to learn the very basics. At least you’re trying!

The most important piece of advice though is to be kind to yourself, put yourself first and do exactly what you want. Don’t feel guilty for turning down plans, missing things, having an early night if it’s what you want to do. Alternatively, if you make loads of friends while away and are enjoying it, don’t feel guilty for the lack of alone time spent. It’s your trip, you’re the one who’s experiencing it, no-one else. Listen to your body and your gut, and as long as you’re safe and having fun, the rest doesn’t matter! Just do you and have the best trip, and you’ll feel like the baddest of them all!